Just when you think you have a plan in place…
Things were plowing along just fine here in the Bennett Casa…. the school work was winding down and turning into Christmas prep, the shiny packages were showing up under the tree, the weather was finally starting to feel more like the season… and then BOOM… with one conversation with my hubby, my outlook on everything changed.
You see, we were given very short notice that he was deploying for 4-5 months. I know, I know, in the big scheme of deployments, that is not a very long one… but a five year old doesn’t get that…heck, I’m not sure even the eighteen year old gets it (or this forty five year old for that matter!) In true military family fashion, we buckled down, got out the checklists and all started our prep work. I even adjusted fire on my end and intentionally stepped away from social media and the blog. My intentions were that as soon as he was airborne and I had all the ‘me time’ I could imagine, I would catch up on those things.
But, again, just when you think you have a plan… you see, I didn’t think about how depressed I would feel (it wasn’t on the check list), I didn’t think about the rainy grey weather piling down on me (again, not on the check list). I knew from experience I wouldn’t sleep well (I never do when he is gone), I knew I would be up late and arise early…. and that with enough coffee, I could conquer that massive to do list I was creating…what I didn’t count on was the stillness God would lay on my heart, the push to sit longer in the stillness I had intentionally taken, the need to stay away from social media and let all that He was laying on me take root…
I’m a pretty good listener…I have no problem taking time for friends, my kiddos and occasionally my hubby (just being honest, I am not that great at making sure he is heard… one of the things I am working on) but for some reason, when it comes to listening to God, well, I am not that great at it. But, God, well, He is always faithful and He always is talking to me… I just need to listen. Funny thing too, when I look back on things I have created, I can see that even then He is talking and letting me know that He is here when I am ready.
A few weeks ago, before we learned anything about this deployment, I stepped way out of my comfort zone and grabbed some nearby items and attempted, for the first time, a mixed media creation… die cuts, canvas, fabric washi tape, stickers, die cuts, discarded book pages, stencils, paints, inks… this little canvas has a bit of everything…. much like myself…and, yesterday, while I was cleaning my creative space (which became a bit of a dumping ground during the packing and holidays), I saw this little canvas … and the verse I had focused on starting whirling …
Look at the birds of the air,
they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not much more valuable then they?
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to you life?
I was worried about a lot of things as we got ready for this deployment… and, as He always does, God provided… and He still is… so I am going to attempt to put this worry away on the shelf… and not take ti back down!